ok, so the only reason i'm online so much, is that i know that this is the last day i'm coming online for the next 3 weeks. yeah, i'm not kidding and yes, i do have that kind of willpower. which i will excerise when the Os start.

i was planning to take a short nap but well, i know how the short nap will turn out to be. A CRAPPY 2-3 HOURS SLEEP. i know how to reason with myself that i still have time to study and blah blah blah. before you know it, poof, dinner time. and i've just woken up. whee.

yeah, i know. i'm as usual, not studying. but i really cant help it, do u guys know how boring math can be? but i think i'm not reallu prepared or anything. nanyang and RI paper is kinda hard. so can u blame me that i don't wanna do them? plus, i have math tuition again later on. so excuse me why i don't want to do math.

time really passes very quickly. and i'm feeling nostalgic lately. it seems like it was only a few weeks ago that i was sec4. seriously. i just cant believe that time has flown so fast. i know people are looking forward to JC, but i don't think i am. it's not the unwillingness to change, it's that i like what i have right now. apparently, when i did the DISC tests, it said that i didn't like change because i was happy with the way things are. and if you're talking about a significant change, for eg, sec to JC, then yeah. i guess i'm not ready for JC yet.

does it seems childish? that i would prefer life to remain as it is? perhaps i'm only feeling that way now. i'll be changing my view very soon, i suppose. witness me, the ever fickle person.

i'm sorry, but i still have dreams. dreams of the good times we once shared. once shared is the word. now, i guess they're just good memories. nothing but memories.

since i hafta go off and bathe, i'll make this short and sweet. had my chem prac today and wonders of wonders, it was ok, more than ok, it was fine. ok, i'll go so far as to say that it's good. ok, enough about that.

ok, so i'm here as usual to rant and rave about fucking people. yeah, terrible use of what was once a beautiful english language.

ok, so my fics are mainly crap, and fluff. ok, fine. i understand how some people hate fluff. most of the people who like fanfiction adore fluff. because mainly they know that real life is nothing well, fluffy. fluffiness doesn't go with the harsh reality of life. so people like me retreat into our world of endless fluff. ok, so i'm pissed.

yeah, i understand how some people will read my stuff and go, so wad, what do i care. well, i know my story wasn't all that fantastic but it's rude to go all out and say it was bad right? of course since that person is not a fanfic reader, who cares. it still hurts a little. and it wasn't bad, hey, i warned readers it was full of fluffiness. but still got people review. so yeah, to hell with all those meanies. I STILL SAY I LIKE WHAT I'VE WRITTEN. whatever. my good mood's gone down the drain, so no one should dare try to make it any worse then it already is.

dun hafta go to school today, yay!!! but i think i have chinese tuition in less than an hours time. wad a way to spend a nice day at home. friday's going to be spent having math tuition. tuition, tuition, tuition.

after chinese, i'm going to sleep. and then i'll start my chem. i hafta start my chem. no way i'm going to get a bloody c6 again. nah, it's not for me.

yay!!!!! my computer is ok. what wonderful news. finally. but it's not like i can play all day since i hafta study for the exams too. fun fun fun.

jf so cute today... haiz... okok, siyi and gladys also very cute. haha, so easy to make gladys angry, just say that her kamui and subaru something wrong.

after physics practical, was talking to ming, amanda and linda... ok, so it was mainly with amanda. since linda was doing her work. corny. really corny.

hmm, you know the show? Are you hot? it's good. not coz there're really good looking guys, it's the bloody judges! just lorenzo thou. he's even meaner than simon cowell. well, those ppl asked for it. if you're hot, you're hot. why lie to yourself and get a reality slap if you prefer to live in dreamland?

crap, need inspiration for my fics.

how boring. my stupid computer totally screwed up. know why? coz we had the blaster worm! reformating, and reformating, and reformating.

found that we're going to camp christine for end of year guides camp. and i'm a first aider. like how did that ever happen? i cant do first aid for nuts. actually, i can. compared to the other jobs, i guess mine aint bad. then, i realised, CAMP CHRISTINE. oh no. BUGS GALORE. FEASTING VAMPIRES. RABID DOGS. and god knows what else. in all places, why camp christine? isnt being in school just as fun and less ulu? of course, there are good pts, like the clear night sky, and the good sea breeze. BUT NOTHING BEATS THE CRAPPY MOSQUITOES.

aint i supposed to be studying?

oh, for god's sake, i need to shop. i need to stop studying and just chill. and i really really really need to shop. not shop with gladys, of course not. she's an insane shopaholic. i need new clothes, i need to cut my hair, i need new shoes, and i need that pretty necklace that's found in Isetan. most of all, i need my fanfics.... boohoohoo, jing's forbidden me to read explict fanfics. no la, just advised me not to.

but i need them... i need them... *like withdrawal*

today was a rather sick day. had to do the prize presentation for the PGA with all the PFT awards in my U. so it was rather awkward?! then, just felt sick.

bleah. i guess i can count myself pretty lucky that i managed to shave off 3 points from my total prelim score. so yay, VJ! other than that... not sure.

computer had some stupid virus that fucked up the whole crummy system. so my sister had to reload everything. and it sure took a long time. lost all the files too. everything! gone. all gone.

pretty soon i'll go mad. math and more math. cant you just feel the joy radiating out of every one of my pores? on second thought, that's rather gross. well, i added a link for my fics, but i don't advise people to read my fics unless you want to puke or something. the most recent one was "mirror of a dream". so of course no reviews for that yet. and all the fics are anime ones, so sucks if you don;t know what i'm writing about. after all, u were warned.

and furthermore, i advise no one to read "gateway to heaven" because i think it sucks. i wrote that when i was in sec 3. and it's pretty obvious my command of the english language is better than last time. read, "truth hurts." that's good. plus, it's completed. and well, if u actually read it, you'll know why i love that anime so much, ah, the way fate governs their lives too. almost like r n j. (now i'm being sarcastic here ok.) and it's not like i'm a les or partial to gays. it just happens that in most animes, the guys are gays. i've got to work with that

In each of your failures, I saw my victory. And each time you fall, a knife tattoos a smile on my lips. You are now empty of life and I am drunk with death

welcome to my world of extreme self-pity. i think i like being that way. i've asked a few people to describe me and to my surprise and maybe horror, i've received compliments, (YAY) and of course people are really reluctant to tell me my faults.

and it's not like i cant tell my faults. because i can. pride is definately one of them. over-expecting stuff. er, well, it's not exhaustive, the list, but it's quite long. decided to appeal for the humanities scholarship. yes, i'm not demented. i know the chance is really slim but if i let that stop me, then i might be regretting it in the future. and i hate the words, "what if."

dont talk about you knowing me when you actually dont. that's pathetic. that's more than pathetic. i pity you. claiming you're a know-it-all, when all you know is that your name spells SHIT backwards. sucks. poor sod. yeah well, i'm not a sadistic bitch, or a brainless git. so what if i dont know what i want and all i see is a blur in front of me? that doesn't give anyone the liberty to sprout nonsense.

see, you really dont know the real me. you'll go, once christine is mad...... she'll beat you up. like real. seriously. COME ON... only lameos seriously believe that. yes, i will beat people up, just not all the time ok. i'm not a violent freak with nothing better to do. beating someone into a bloody pulp takes up my time. trust me. i have better things to do. so DONT WASTE MY TIME. TALKING BEHIND MY BACK. GOT IT?

and i'm not able to get into a great JC. wait, that sounds evil. all the JCs are ok, but let's just say that i wouldn't be able to get into my dream JC. not so bad sounding now huh? 15 pts. not the end of the world. not the beginning of something great either. wow, stuck in the middle. witness my ability to feel that i should be screaming for joy but i'm not. witness my ability to string words cohertently together.

supposed to be doing chem and math. but i'm not interested. and it's bad.

i swear, what gives people the idea that i should be called chrissy? who????????? stick that idea outta ur head man! it's disgusting. of course there are people who call me chris. but it's those people who're really close to me. but chrissy??? goodness, it sounds like sissy. yick. I'M NOT A SISSY. the name chrissy seems to give me a picture of a cute innocent genki girl. do u think i'm a cute genki girl with nothing to do but act cute????? of course not. i think it's funny as well as damn cool to see a person's heart get ripped from the chest. after i get over the initial disgust.

CXHXRXIXSXSXY XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

and yay, haven written any thing recently, but well, guess that means i'm having a good time relaxing? i guess so. well, got back eng paper today, it was barely an a1. must work harder. was counting on lit as one of the L1R5, but now i dun think so.

the other sec. levels are all having exams now, and when they're done, i'll be studying my brains out AGAIN. what fun. whee